As a queer boy of color, I have never felt sexy. When I was in the closet, I always thought love, romance, and sex were for straight people. I fell in love with boys who would never accept my sexuality, let alone love me. When I came out, I felt liberated. But then I realized that the gay community also has ideals that I could never meet. I could never be tall. Chiseled. WHITE. I have always judged myself according to white standards. How white I can talk. How white I can dress. How much I’m attractive according to white standards.
Well, I’m done with that. I’m a beautiful brown boy. I’m short and petite. My skin is brown. My accent is Latino. I’m sexy. I’m beautiful. Even if I’m the only one who will ever think that. Dont need no man to pleasure me. I can pleasure myself. I serve that anarcho-couture realness every damm day. I create my own theory. I live a life of my own choosing. Even if that means I’ll be alone for most of my life.